


Random Story II

by lexwinchester, LukaThorne



Category: Multi-Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 08:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11055198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexwinchester/pseuds/lexwinchester, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LukaThorne/pseuds/LukaThorne





	Random Story II

Kayame

Three girls : Kayame, Rukia and Kanashii were all in a room sitting around doing nothing. Kayame broke the silence.

 

Kayame:: I'm bored…

Kanashii:: me too.

Rukia:: what should we do?

Kayame:: strip poker?

Kanashii&Rukia:: no.

Kayame:: aw.

Rukia:: let's play truth or dare!

Kayame:: yeah!

Kanashii:: ok.

Rukia:: me first! Kayame, truth or dare?

Kayame:: DARE!

Rukia:: oh yeah! I got somethin' BIG planned for you.

Kayame:: oh shit…..like what?

Rukia

Rukia:: hell no, we're gonna play strip poker dammit!

Kayame:: no!

Rukia:: that's my dare then. We'll play strip poker.

 

Suddenly, Luke and Jordan walk in.

 

Luke:: strip poker, fuckin' sweet!

Jordan:: I wanna play!

 

So everybody plays strip poker. Kayame is losing miserably. She's only in her bra and underwear. Jordan looks at Kayame with longing.

 

Rukia:: ha! Full house!

Kanashii:: two pair.

Kayame:: NOTHING!!!

Jordan&Luke:: and off goes your bra!

 

Kanashii

Kayame:: no!

Rukia:: yep.

 

Kayame shakes her head, and looks around the room.

 

Kayame:: oh, come on guys!

Jordan:: come on, Kayame!

 

Kayame smiles and looks at Jordan.

 

Kayame:: okay, fine. You guys win.

 

Kayame goes to unhook her bra.

Kayame

Luke stared at Kayame.

 

Kayame:: quit that!

Luke:: what?!

 

After sitting there for five minutes or so, she finally took off her bra, but got 'smart' and crossed her arms across her bare chest.

 

Kayame:: next round…

Jordan:: you look sexy, Kayame.

Kayame:: yeah, I bet.

 

She sat there 'pouting' as Luke deals the cards for the next round.

Rukia

Kayame:: I win!

Luke:: DAMN!

 

Luke takes off his shirt.

 

Rukia:: fuckin sexy…..

 

Suddenly, Kayame's mother walks in. Kayame scrambles to put her bra, shirt and pants back on.

 

K's Mom:: KAYAME!?!?!?! What's going on?

Kayame:: absolutely nothing.

 

Luke just stands there not even bothering to put his shirt on. Rukia pokes him and whispers.

 

Rukia:: Luke! Hellooooo your SHIRT!!

Luke:: OH YEAH!

 

Luke slips his shirt on. Suddenly…

Kanashii

Kanashii yells.

 

Kanashii:: DUCK!!

 

Everybody puts their hands over their heads and lowers. Kanashii hisses.

 

Kanashii:: not THAT kind of duck! Look.

 

Kayame, Rukia, Jordan, Luke and Kayame's Mom look to where Kanashii is pointing, and see.

 

Kayame:: a duck?!?!

Jordan:: why is there a flippen DUCK in your house?

Kayame:: I'm not sure.

Suddenly, they hear the door open and someone yell.

 

Voice:: anyone there?

 

The duck runs out of the hallway and toward the voice. Everyone hears a scream and goes out to the living room to see Courtney Boser on the floor bleeding rapidly out of a hole in her forehead!

 

Rukia:: we have to help her!

 

Everybody just stands there watching as Courtney bleeds to death. With one last sigh, Courtney dies.

Kayame

Kayame:: sweet…

K's Mom:: I'm going to Colorado for a trip for work. I'll be back in a week.

Kayame:: kay.

 

Twenty minutes later, they are back upstairs, continuing the game.

 

Kayame:: I win!!

Jordan:: shit…

 

Jordan is now in his boxers.

 

Kayame:: that is way….way….fuckin' sexy…

Jordan:: like what you see?

Kayame:: hell yeah!

 

Rukia

 

Suddenly Jordan takes off his boxers.

 

Rukia:: MY EYES! SHEID MY EYES!!

Kanashii:: what the hell, you didn't lose another round!

Luka:: like Rukia said…SHIELD MY EYES!

 

Jordan starts dancing naked. Suddenly, Ryan walks in.

 

Kanashii:: HI!

Ryan:: hi everybody! I brought some

 

Kanashii

 

Ryan:: cheese.

Rukia:: come join us.

Ryan:: what are you guys doing?

Kayame:: um…

Jordan:: playing strip poker.

Ryan (looking at Kanashii) okay.

 

So Ryan sits down and they play another round. This time, Kanashii loses.

 

Kanashii:: GOD DAMMIT!!

Rukia:: hahaha! Go on, Ashii!

Kanashii:: damn you!

 

She takes off her shirt and Ryan whistles.

 

Kayame

 

Ryan:: sexy!

 

They start another round.

 

Rukia:: shit.

Luke:: come on Rukia. Lose the shirt.

Kayame:: woo! Take….it….off!

 

Rukia takes off her shirt. Luke looked like he was going to die.

 

Kayame:: well…. (shivers)

Jordan:: (finishing putting his boxers back on) you cold?

Kayame:: yes.

Jordan:: aw sad.

Kayame:: very.

 

Just then, Jordan

 

Rukia

 

Starts to cry.

 

Rukia:: wtf?

Jordan:: I feel premenstrual.

 

Rukia, Luke, Ryan and Kanashii burst out laughing. Kayame just glares at everyone.

 

Kayame:: you're ridiculous, Jordan.

 

Suddenly, Jordan looks straight at Kayame.

 

Jordan:: I want to make love to you, Kayame.

 

Kanashii

 

Kayame:: WHAT!!!

 

Everyone else starts to laugh hysterically.

 

Kanashii:: good for you!! Well, I have to get going.

 

Kanashii puts her shirt back on and turns to everyone else.

 

Kanashii:: I'll talk to you guys later.

 

Kanashii leaves and everyone else looks at each other, confused.

 

Rukia:: what the hell just happened? Huh, Kayame?

 

Rukia turns around to see Kayame making love to Jordan.

 

Rukia:: KAYAME!!!

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: WHAAAT?!

Rukia:: what's the matter with you?!

Kayame:: nothing! I'm kinda busy here!

 

She continues making love with Jordan. Ryan ran after Kanashii.

 

Ryan:: what's wrong? Why'd you leave?

Kanashii:: I dunno.

Ryan:: let's go back. We can watch a horror movie.

Kanashii:: ok.

 

They go back to Kayame's room and see Jordan and Kayame, Luke and Rukia making love to each other.

 

Ryan:: that looks like fun. l..

Kanashii::

 

Rukia

 

Kanashii:: yeah, it does! Let's join in!

 

So Ryan and Kanashii start having sex too.

 

Seven hours later, everybody finally stops having sex.

 

Jordan:: that was FUCKIN amazing.

Kayame:: thank you.

Luke:: wow.

Rukia:: fwow.

Ryan:: sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy.

Kanashii:: yeaaaaaaaaaah.

 

Suddenly Luke's cell phone rings.

 

Luke:: hello?

Voice:: you will die TONIGHT.

Luke:: holy shit!

 

Kanashii

 

Luke hangs up his cell and runs out the door completely going INSANE.

 

Luke:: AHHHH!!! I CAN NOT DIE!!!!

 

He falls over his own feet and lands flat on his face.

 

Rukia:: OMG!! Luke!! Are you all right?

Luke:: (sitting up) I'm fine.

 

He takes a deep breath when suddenly

 

Kayame

 

Jordan's brother Nick jumps out of nowhere.

 

Nick:: BOO!

All:: HOLY SHIT!!!

 

Kayame freaks out shaking. The she went ballistic on Nick. He tackles him to the ground and

 

Rukia

 

Ends up killing him.

 

Kayame:: oops.

Jordan:: bitch.

Kayame:: bastard.

Jordan:: short ass.

Kayame:: dick sucker.

Jordan:: apple.

Kayame:: banana

Rukia:: wtf?

 

Suddenly Kayame's IPod rings.

 

Kayame:: my IPod just rang.

 

Nick bursts into laughter.

 

Kanashii

 

Rukia:: WTF!! Didn't we kill you?

Nick:: ….hahahaha!!

 

Rukia throws her arms up in the air and runs away SCREAMING.

 

Kayame

 

Kayame sat there with a REALLY stupid look on her face.

 

Kayame:: what the hell happened…

Brandon:: I have no fucking clue…hey Kayame.

Kayame:: hey what?

Brandon::

 

Rukia

 

Brandon:: I had sex with a banana.

Kayame:: oh…..kay.

Rukia:: WAIT A MINUTE. How do you manage that, Brandon?

Kayame:: BRANDON! Hahaha! Your name has bra in it! HAHAHA!

 

Kayame bursts into a fit of laughter. She laughs so hard that she accidently dials a sexual molester and invites him over for dinner.

 

Kanashii

 

SM:: I'll be there in about fifteen minutes.

Kayame:: see you then.

 

Kayame hangs up the phone and walks over to Kanashii (Ryan had gone home while Luke had been running around in circles)

 

Kanashii:: why do we have to live? Life sucks!

Kayame:: don't say that….things could ALWAYS be worse.

 

Suddenly, they hear a knock on the door.

 

Kayame

 

Kayame answers the door and was pushed against the wall by SM.

 

Kayame:: uh….hello…

 

Meanwhile, the others are sitting upstairs talking when they hear Kayame scream. They run downstairs to see SM and Kayame

 

Rukia

 

Eating Boston Cream Pie.

 

Kayame:: (screaming) no please, I don't like Boston Cream Pie!

SM:: let's go to the cemetery in Fairmont and dig up a body.

Kayame:: my sexual organs itch.

SM:: I'll itch them for you.

 

Jordan starts killing SM. Suddenly, someone turns out the lights.

 

Rukia:: WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?!

Ryan:: it's me! And my pet weasel, Robo. AKA - Mr. Fluffaluffagus.

SM:: I'm a molester.

 

Luke stabs SM in the ass. He bleeds to death out of his ass.

 

Kanashii:: Hiiiiiiiiiii Ryan, I love you!

Ryan:: yep, okay.

 

Kayame and Jordan hold hand and start dancing.

 

Rukia:: uh, HMM, can SOMEONE turn on the god damn lights?

Luke:: sure.

 

 

Luke flies off into the distance, then comes back and turns on the lights.

 

Rukia:: thanks.

Luke:: no problem.

 

Luke decides to

 

Kanashii

 

Kiss Rukia on the head as he walks toward Rukia he sees a human shape go flying across the room. When Rukia and he look, they see that it was Kanashii.

 

Rukia:: KANASHII!!! NOO!!!

 

SM:: (holding a knife to Kanashii's neck) stay away! I am taking this bitch with me. And no one is going to stop me.

 

He knocks Kanashii on the head, and she falls into his hands, unconscious. He lifts her up bridal style and carries her out of the house. Never to be seen again.

 

Kayame:: NO!! Kanashii, buddy, come back!

 

Kayame falls to her knees and

 

Kayame

 

Laughs hysterically.

 

Jordan:: why the hell are you laughing?

Kayame:: (laughing really hard) I don't know. I can't control it.

 

Meanwhile, Kanashii and SM

 

Rukia

 

are in the shower together. Kanashii still wet and soapy from the shower RUNS away.

 

Kanashii:: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Kanashii kidnaps SM's little kitten and decides to call her Squishy.

 

Kanashii:: MY SQUISHY!! MINE!!

 

Kanashii runs super FAST back to Rukia, Kayame and everyone else. She arrives and is still naked from the shower. Luckily soap was covering everything that needed to be covered.

 

Ryan:: um, Kanashii, you might wanna get dressed.

 

Kanashii:: mwahahaha!

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: what the hell is your problem?

Kanashii:: (suddenly SUPER calm) I don't have a problem.

Rukia:: wtf…

Kayame:: oookaay.

Jordan:: hey baby?

Kayame:: what?

Jordan:: close your eyes. I want to give you a present.

Kayame:: um….ok.

 

She closes her eyes. Jordan took out a box.

 

Jordan:: okay. Open em.

 

She opens her eyes and gasps.

 

Kayame:: oh my god…

Jordan:: just a little somethin' to say I love you.

 

He took a diamond necklace out of the box and put it around her neck.

 

Kayame:: Jordan…how much did this cost?!

Jordan:: just $650. But you're worth every penny.

 

She glomped hugged him.

 

Kayame:: oh you always knew what to say to make me smile! I love you!

Brandon:: …tch…who would wanna spend that much on a stupid necklace.

Luke:: you jealous?

Brandon:: tch no.

Kayame:: Jordan….oh my god…it's so beautiful.

Jordan:: I know. Got it just for you. I was gonna get a PSP, but why would I do that when I can get a gift for my girl.

Kayame:: you're amazing!

 

She kissed him. Which led to a deep loving kiss.

 

Brandon:: sick.

Rukia:: oh sad. You're the only one without a date.

Brandon:: So

 

Rukia

 

Brandon:: screw you!

 

Brandon bursts out in tears, then starts to laugh.

 

Rukia:: you loser!

Brandon:: ass sniffer.

Rukia:: fucker!

Brandon:: BITCH!

Rukia:: APPLE!!

Brandon:: BANANA!!

Kayame:: W.T.F? How is a fruit an insult?

Rukia:: we dunno.

 

Suddenly, Luke falls asleep standing up. He sways back and forth and falls. Rukia catches him.

 

Rukia:: awwwwww, Lukie!

 

Rukia carries Luke to bed.

 

The next day,

 

Kayame

 

Kayame and Jordan were laughing silently.

 

Brandon:: what's so funny? It's cereal…

Kayame:: hey Brandon, could you get me a glass of water?

Brandon:: get it yourself.

Kayame:: (puppy pout) pweety pwesse.

Brandon:: tch fine.

 

He gets a cup and turns on the faucet only to be sprayed by the hosy thing next to it, which Kayame and Jordan taped.

 

Brandon:: DAMMIT!!

 

Everyone bursts out laughing.

 

\--

A/N

Everyone is in their pj's.

Girls:: sexy shorts and tank tops

Boys:: boxers

\--

 

Brandon, who was pissed, tackled Kayame. He was on top of her on the floor.

 

Rukia

 

Jordan:: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No sex in the kitchen!

Brandon:: this FUCKIN' MIDGET-

Kayame:: Ass crack!

Brandon:: slut.

Kayame:: APPLE!

Brandon:: BANANA!

Rukia:: (eating a banana) my banana. Not yours. Get your own.

Kanashii:: hey, I think now would be an appropriate time to play truth or dare, huh?

 

Suddenly, Kayame points to the door.

 

Kayame:: look who's there! It's

 

Rukia

 

Kayame:: …..could you get off me?

Brandon:: or what?

Jordan:: I'll kick your ass for doin' my girlfriend.

Brandon:: fine.

 

They get off the floor.

 

Kayame:: as I was saying….look who's here….it's Mickey Mouse.

Mickey:: hiya folks.

 

BAM! He's dead.

 

Jordan:: ok….moving on.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia:: YOU MURDERER!!

 

Rukia goes and performs CPR on Mickey Mouse, but it's too late, he's gone.

 

Rukia:: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Luke flies off into the distance, then comes back and turns on the lights.

 

Rukia:: thanks.

Luke:: no problem.

 

Luke decides to

 

Kanashii

 

Kiss Rukia on the head as he walks toward Rukia he sees a human shape go flying across the room. When Rukia and he look, they see that it was Kanashii.

 

Rukia:: KANASHII!!! NOO!!!

 

SM:: (holding a knife to Kanashii's neck) stay away! I am taking this bitch with me. And no one is going to stop me.

 

He knocks Kanashii on the head, and she falls into his hands, unconscious. He lifts her up bridal style and carries her out of the house. Never to be seen again.

 

Kayame:: NO!! Kanashii, buddy, come back!

 

Kayame falls to her knees and

 

Kayame

 

Laughs hysterically.

 

Jordan:: why the hell are you laughing?

Kayame:: (laughing really hard) I don't know. I can't control it.

 

Meanwhile, Kanashii and SM

 

Rukia

 

are in the shower together. Kanashii still wet and soapy from the shower RUNS away.

 

Kanashii:: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Kanashii kidnaps SM's little kitten and decides to call her Squishy.

 

Kanashii:: MY SQUISHY!! MINE!!

 

Kanashii runs super FAST back to Rukia, Kayame and everyone else. She arrives and is still naked from the shower. Luckily soap was covering everything that needed to be covered.

 

Ryan:: um, Kanashii, you might wanna get dressed.

 

Kanashii:: mwahahaha!

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: what the hell is your problem?

Kanashii:: (suddenly SUPER calm) I don't have a problem.

Rukia:: wtf…

Kayame:: oookaay.

Jordan:: hey baby?

Kayame:: what?

Jordan:: close your eyes. I want to give you a present.

Kayame:: um….ok.

 

She closes her eyes. Jordan took out a box.

 

Jordan:: okay. Open em.

 

She opens her eyes and gasps.

 

Kayame:: oh my god…

Jordan:: just a little somethin' to say I love you.

 

He took a diamond necklace out of the box and put it around her neck.

 

Kayame:: Jordan…how much did this cost?!

Jordan:: just $650. But you're worth every penny.

 

She glomped hugged him.

 

Kayame:: oh you always knew what to say to make me smile! I love you!

Brandon:: …tch…who would wanna spend that much on a stupid necklace.

Luke:: you jealous?

Brandon:: tch no.

Kayame:: Jordan….oh my god…it's so beautiful.

Jordan:: I know. Got it just for you. I was gonna get a PSP, but why would I do that when I can get a gift for my girl.

Kayame:: you're amazing!

 

She kissed him. Which led to a deep loving kiss.

 

Brandon:: sick.

Rukia:: oh sad. You're the only one without a date.

Brandon:: So

 

Rukia

 

Brandon:: screw you!

 

Brandon bursts out in tears, then starts to laugh.

 

Rukia:: you loser!

Brandon:: ass sniffer.

Rukia:: fucker!

Brandon:: BITCH!

Rukia:: APPLE!!

Brandon:: BANANA!!

Kayame:: W.T.F? How is a fruit an insult?

Rukia:: we dunno.

 

Suddenly, Luke falls asleep standing up. He sways back and forth and falls. Rukia catches him.

 

Rukia:: awwwwww, Lukie!

 

Rukia carries Luke to bed.

 

The next day,

 

Kayame

 

Kayame and Jordan were laughing silently.

 

Brandon:: what's so funny? It's cereal…

Kayame:: hey Brandon, could you get me a glass of water?

Brandon:: get it yourself.

Kayame:: (puppy pout) pweety pwesse.

Brandon:: tch fine.

 

He gets a cup and turns on the faucet only to be sprayed by the hosy thing next to it, which Kayame and Jordan taped.

 

Brandon:: DAMMIT!!

 

Everyone bursts out laughing.

 

\--

A/N

Everyone is in their pj's.

Girls:: sexy shorts and tank tops

Boys:: boxers

\--

 

Brandon, who was pissed, tackled Kayame. He was on top of her on the floor.

 

Rukia

 

Jordan:: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No sex in the kitchen!

Brandon:: this FUCKIN' MIDGET-

Kayame:: Ass crack!

Brandon:: slut.

Kayame:: APPLE!

Brandon:: BANANA!

Rukia:: (eating a banana) my banana. Not yours. Get your own.

Kanashii:: hey, I think now would be an appropriate time to play truth or dare, huh?

 

Suddenly, Kayame points to the door.

 

Kayame:: look who's there! It's

 

Rukia

 

Kayame:: …..could you get off me?

Brandon:: or what?

Jordan:: I'll kick your ass for doin' my girlfriend.

Brandon:: fine.

 

They get off the floor.

 

Kayame:: as I was saying….look who's here….it's Mickey Mouse.

Mickey:: hiya folks.

 

BAM! He's dead.

 

Jordan:: ok….moving on.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia:: YOU MURDERER!!

 

Rukia goes and performs CPR on Mickey Mouse, but it's too late, he's gone.

 

Rukia:: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Suddenly, Cody runs in the door. He jumps Brandon and totally violates him.

 

Kayame:: EEEEEEEEEEW!

 

Kayame eats Oreos and milk as she watches Cody try to have sex with Brandon.

 

Brandon:: GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU PERV!!

Cody:: I love you!

Rukia:: this has gone too FAR!

 

Rukia stabs Cody with a banana, removing the chipmunk demon spirit that was possessing him.

 

Cody:: wtf happened….OMFG and why am I on top of Brandon?

 

Kayame

 

Cody:: and why are we naked?

Kayame:: aw why'd you stop? I was watching a live action yaoi!

Brandon:: good for you. Now get the hell off me!

Kayame:: he wants you Brandon.

Jordan:: that may be, but I want YOU.

 

Kayame's face goes totally red.

 

Kayame::

 

Rukia

 

Kayame:: I want a pop-tart! Oh, yeah, and Jordan in bed.

 

Jordan smiles and picks up a knife and cuts his wrist.

 

Rukia:: !!!!!!!!!

Jordan:: do you leave me more now, Kayame?

Kayame:: fuckingletsgotobedandmakeoutnow!

Jordan:: ALL RIGHT!

 

Kayame and Jordan run upstairs, followed by Rukia's sex crazed cat named SEX.

 

Kayame:: GO AWAY, SEX! Jordan and I are BUSY!

 

Sex meows irritatedly and walks away.

 

Luke:: ohhhhhh, Jordan's gettin' LAID!!

 

Jordan scowls at Luke.

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: do you mind?

Luke:: no.

 

She glares at him so he left. Jordan and Kayame began making out.

 

Cody:: OHMYGOD!!

 

He scares Jordan, causing him to bite Kayame's tongue.

 

Kayame:: (holds mouth) ow!

Jordan:: what's wrong?

Kayame:: you bit my tongue.

Jordan:: oh my god! I'm sorry!

 

Just then Jordan

 

Rukia

 

Itches his foot.

 

Jordan:: stupid, itchy, FOOT!

 

Suddenly, Sex walks in, meows and jumps on Kayame's lap.

 

Kayame:: (petting her) hey, Sex.

 

Suddenly, a cracking noise is heard.

 

Kayame:: what the…

 

The ceiling fan suddenly falls off the ceiling, narrowly missing Kayame's head.

 

Kayame:: (in shock) HOLY SHIT!!!

 

Mrs. Jarvis climbs in through the hole in the ceiling.

 

Mrs. J:: KAYame! Where is your band homework?

Kayame:: stfu, Mrs. Jarvis, its fricken Saturday, you loser!

 

Mrs. Jarvis stares.

 

Mrs. J:: okay, bye.

 

She leaves.

 

Jordan:: screw her, man!

Rukia:: It's LUNCHTIME!!

 

Kayame

 

Jordan:: what the hell just happened?

Kayame:: I have no fucking clue.

 

Suddenly, Kayame goes ballistic and attacks the wall.

 

Jordan:: what the hell?!

Rukia:: she gets like that when she lacks chocolate. Kayame wanna COOKIE!

 

She froze and slowly turned her head toward Rukia.

 

Kayame:: is a chocolate cookie?

Rukia:: no.

Kayame:: no! Fuck you!

Rukia:: bitch

Kayame:: ASS!

Rukia:: purple!

Kayame:: periwinkle!

Jordan:: wenis!

 

Silence.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia:: what the HELL is a wenis?

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: isn't that on your elbow somewhere?

Rukia:: yeah. Speaking of which, you have peanut butter on yours.

Kayame:: oh are you serious?

 

She looked at her elbow. She sat there for 47.63 minutes trying to lick her elbow.

 

Rukia:: Kayame.

Kayame:: yeah?

Rukia:: it's impossible.

Kayame:: how do you know for sure! Huh? Anything is possible! For example.

 

Rukia

 

Kayame:: flying!

 

Kayame jumps up in the air and tries to fly. She falls to the ground and perishes. Just kidding, she just knocks herself out.

 

Kayame:: oooooooooh, did I get the peanut butter off my elbow?

Rukia:: you dork.

Kayame:: you're so mean.

Kanashii: PIZZA!!

Luke:: wtf?

Kanashii:: look! Your grandma is here and she brought pizza!

 

Sex meows.

 

Kayame

 

Luke:: ok…

 

Suddenly, Kayame and Jordan disappear off the face of the earth forever!

 

Rukia:: nooooooo! Kayame! Where did you gooo?!

Kayame:: I'm behind you, you dork!

 

Rukia

 

Kanashii:: WHAT

Rukia:: THE

Kanashii: HELL!?!?!?

Luke:: doody.

 

Everybody bursts out laughing, then runs down to eat sandwiches and ignore the pizza. Well, actually, Jordan ate all the pizza.

 

Jordan:: well, fuckin sexy friends, I'm going to sleep.

Rukia:: um.……..at 1:15pm?

Jordan:: yep! Nite!

 

Jordan goes to sleep.

 

Jordan:: zzzzzz

 

Kayame

 

Kayame being the girl she is, lies next to him and falls asleep.

 

Brandon:: I am now known as Brandon! The almighty powerful sex gods!

Rukia:: how can you be a sex god without a girlfriend?

Brandon:: I don't need a girlfriend to be happy dammit!

Luke:: that's right. Cuz you got a hot boyfriend waiting for you in Florida.

 

Rukia

 

Kanashii:: eeeeeeew sick, man. SICK!!

Rukia:: damn, its 12am. I'm going to bed.

Kanashii: but, I thought it was afternoon.

 

Kayame

 

Rukia:: well, you thought wrong.

Kanashii:: at least I think

 

Kanashii

 

Kanashii:: it's still afternoon. Did that many hours really go by? Hm….

 

Kanashii walks in a random direction thinking. Rukia looks after her with a very confused look at her.

 

Rukia:: what the hell…

 

Rukia

 

All of a sudden, Linkin' Park's In the End starts to play out of nowhere.

 

Kayame:: fuckin' sexy!

 

Kayame starts to dance, and Rukia joins her.

 

An hour later, it's 11pm. The girls and guys are changing into their pajamas and are making caramel corn.

 

Rukia:: yummyyyyyyyyyyyy.

The caramel corn is done and then Kayame decides to pop in a horror movie.

 

Kayame

 

They were all on the couch watching the scariest part.

 

\--

A/N

Sitting in this order: Ryan, Kanashii, Rukia, Luke, Brandon, Kayame and Jordan.

\--

 

Then Brandon gets a smart idea. He looks at Kayame, who was shaking with fear. He slowly leans over.

 

Brandon:: OHMYGOD!!

 

Everyone jumps, but Kayame screamed and tackled Jordan screaming, which he jumped from fear. Brandon bursts out laughing.

 

Brandon:: I'll be back. I need more popcorn.

 

He gets up and sneaks behind the couch. He then jumps out and scares her again.

 

Kayame:: HOLY SHIT BRANDON!!!

 

Kanashii

 

Brandon:: hahahaha!!

 

Jordan growls and jumps over the couch, tackling Brandon to the ground.

 

Brandon:: ow! Get off!!

Jordan:: no!

Brandon:: I said get off!

 

Brandon pushes Jordan off him and stands back up.

 

Brandon:: what the hell's your problem, man? It was only a joke.

Jordan::

 

Rukia

 

Jordan:: screw you, you fucking BANANA!

 

Brandon holds his hand to his heart.

 

Brandon:: ouch, man. That REALLY hurt.

Jordon:: well…….

 

Suddenly, Kayame grabs the caramel popcorn and eats the whole fricken bowl.

 

Luke:: you fuckin fat ass.

Kayame:: 375!

Luke:: WTF?

Kayame:: nose picker.

Luke:: CHEESE CURD.

Kayame:: bastard!

Luke:: PENIS

Kayame:: STD!

Luke:: Rubik's CUBE!

Kayame:: horny fucker!

 

Luke bursts into tears.

 

Luke:: UGLY!!

Kayame:: pencil eater.

 

Kayame starts to cry too.

 

Luke:: HAIR BRUSH!

Kayame:: snowball!

Rukia:: ENOUGH!!!

 

Rukia throws a bowl of macaroni salad at Kayame and Luke. Then she

 

Kayame

 

Cried.

 

Kayame:: you rapist! Look what you did! You made her cry!

Luke:: I did not, you liar!

Kayame:: fag!

Luke:: sexy bitch.

Kayame:: damn straight!!

 

Rukia stopped crying. Then she

 

Kanashii

 

Walks up to Brandon and smacks him.

 

Rukia

 

Brandon:: WHAT THE HELL!?!

Kanashii:: let's play strip poker again!

Ryan:: no!

Kanashii:: why the hell not?

Ryan:: the horror movie's still on!

Jordan:: rhetorical question.

Ryan:: my penis hurts.

Kanashii:: nasty!

Kayame:: fwow.

 

Everybody sits down and finishes the horror movie. Suddenly, a rapist named Jim walks in.

 

Kanashii:: oh, hi! You're just in time to play strip poker with us!

Rapist::

 

Kayame

 

Rapist:: sexy!

Kayame:: hey Jim. What's up?

Jim:: not much, you?

Kayame:: not much.

Brandon:: you know him?

Kayame:: well yeah! We always hung out with each other.

Ryan:: and did what?

Kayame::

 

Kanashii

 

Kayame:: um…..

 

Jim walks up next to Rukia and puts his arm around her shoulder.

 

Rukia:: …….

Jim:: hey sweetie. Want to spend the night with me?

Rukia:: um…..EWWW!! GET AWAY!!!!

 

Rukia

 

Jim:: no.

 

Rukia stabs him through the heart.

 

Kayame:: Jiiiiiiiiiiiim!!

Kanashii: (sad face) now he doesn't get to play strip poker.

 

Suddenly, Jim's dead eyes open up.

 

Jim:: HELLO!

Kayame:: omg, Jim I love you!

 

Jordan kills Jim out of jealousy.

 

Kayame:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Kayame

 

Jordan stares at her.

 

Kayame:: what?

Jordan:: ……

Kayame:: WHAT?! He's my cousin!

Jordan:: oh…that's okay then.

 

Kayame turns to Rukia.

 

Kayame:: YOU KILLED MY COUSIN!!

Rukia:: he came back to life! Jordan's the one who actually KILLED him!

Jordan:: I didn't know!

 

Kanashii

 

Rukia:: that's no excuse!!

 

Kayame gives Rukia an evil eye and lunges at her.

 

Rukia:: AHHHH!! HELP!!!

Kayame:: die! Goddamn you!

 

Kayame bites Rukia after Rukia scratches her.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia dies then everyone is happy.

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: my bad…

Kanashii:: nice going.

Luke:: AH! RUKIA! What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Brandon:: write in your diary how depressed you are.

Luke:: haha…..funny.

Brandon:: like your face.

 

Kanashii

 

Kayame&Kanashii:: ooooooo!

Luke:: you asshole!

Brandon:: bastard!

Kanashii:: okay, okay. That's enough. I am so SICK of listening to you two fight.

Jordan:: no kidding!

 

Kayame walks up to Jordan and gives him a huge from behind.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia:: holy balls! This is fricken random.

 

Suddenly, Kanashii's banana phone rings.

 

Kanashii:: hello? Mom? OH SHIT!!

 

Kanashii throws her banana phone across the room and it hits Brandon in the chest.

 

Brandon:: ow!

 

Rukia gives Brandon a huge, then touches his hair.

 

Kayame:: ……..

 

Rukia's phone rings.

 

Rukia:: hello? Brandon? WTF?

Luke:: wait….you're alive?

 

Brandon is laughing hysterically.

 

Jordan:: ow, my foot is sore.

Kayame:: aww, baby.

 

Kayame kisses him.

 

Rukia:: romantic.

Brandon:: yuck.

 

Rukia elbows Brandon.

 

Rukia:: shhhh, let them suck face for a while.

Cody:: I just realized that I'm hungry.

Jordan:: I just realized that I'm gay. Sorry, Kayame.

Kayame:: NOOOOOOOOO JORDAN!!!!!

Jordan:: I'm kidding, relax.

Brandon:: possibly……

Kayame:: FRITOS!

Rukia:: OMFG, WHERE?!

Kayame:: in Kanashii's hands.

 

Kanashii smiles. Then she runs over and puts a Frito down Brandon's bra.

 

Jordan:: wtf are you wearing a bra for?

Brandon:: it's not mine, it's Kanashii's.

Kanashii:: ……….

Rukia:: that doesn't explain why you're wearing it.

Jordan:: LMAO!

 

Luke picks up a newspaper and starts to read it. Suddenly, someone walks up behind him and smacks him over the head with a bracelet.

 

Luke:: what the hell?

Voice:: sorry!

Luke:: what was that for?

Voice:: dunno, think I'm drunk.

Luke:: good for you, Cody.

Rukia:: I have a secret.

 

Kayame

 

Kayame:: yeah? What's that?

 

There was silence as they waited for her secret.

 

Rukia:: (takes a breath) I am…homosexual.

All:: WHAT?!

Rukia:: nah, I'm joking.

Kayame:: bitch.

Rukia:: whore.

Kayame:: fag.

Rukia:: douche.

Kayame:: jack ass.

Kayame:: dick sucker!

Rukia:: APPLE!

Kayame:: BANANA!!

Luke:: HELLO?! I just got hit in the head.

 

Silence.

 

Kayame:: um…so?

Luke:: so? …I'm in pain and all you can say is so?

Cody:: you pansy ass. You were hit with a fricken bracelet!!

Luke:: so…

Kanashii:: baby.

Luke:: bitch.

Kayame:: hey don't call her that! She's my bitch!

Kanashii: what?!

Jordan:: and you're my bitch.

Kayame:: damn straight.

Brandon:: and Jordan's my bitch.

Cody:: and Brandon's my bitch.

Rukia:: Cody is mine.

Luke:: Rukia is my bitch.

Rukia:: hah, you wish! I'm already Rubbalite's.

Kanashii:: and Rubbalite is mine.

Brandon:: looks like Luke is left out…

Kayame:: I would say I'm sorry, but I'm lying.

Luke:: bitch!

 

Jordan punches Luke in the face. He falls to the ground. Kayame bursts out laughing.

 

Rukia

 

Rukia:: WTF?

Kayame:: idk.

 

Suddenly, Rukia runs into Kayame's bathroom.

 

Jordan:: …….

Kayame:: ……..

Kanashii:: …….

Luke:: ……….

Brandon:: ………

Cody:: ……..

Kayame:: what's with her?

Kanashii:: someone should go see what's wrong with her.

 

Everyone just stands there.

 

Luke&Brandon:: whatever. We'll go.

 

Luke and Brandon run to Kayame's bathroom and knock on the door.

 

Luke:: you okay, Rukia?

Rukia:: yes.

Brandon:: you sure?

Rukia:: yes.

 

Rukia opens the bathroom door, and walks out, past Luke and Brandon, and they see a tear on the side of her cheek.

 

Rukia:: okay guys, you ready to go swimming? I've got my suit on under my clothes.

 

Luke gives Rukia a look.

 

Rukia:: shut up.

Luke:: I didn't say anything!

Kayame:: I got my suit on too. Let's go.

 

Everybody leaves Kayame's house to go to the pool. Brandon ends up walking next to Rukia.

 

Brandon:: you sure you're okay?

Rukia:: I'm fine, really.

 

Kayame

 

Brandon:: okay….

 

He leans to Kayame.

 

Brandon:: what's with her?

Kayame:: what do you automatically think that I know?

Brandon:: I don't know?!

 

Suddenly, Chicken Little scurried by.

 

CL:: the sky is falling! The sky is falling!

 

Rukia

 

Jordan:: what the hell?

Kayame:: no fuckin clue.

Rukia:: anyway…….

CL:: I'm serious! The sky actually is falling!

 

Suddenly the sky falls. But it doesn't hurt, cuz the sky is soft.

 

CL:: I TOLD you!

Luke:: whatever, it didn't even hurt!

 

Chicken Little flicks Luke off then runs away.

 

Cody:: okay, let's go swimming now!

Brandon:: all right.

 

Everybody gets in the pool and starts to swim around. Kayame splashes Jordan with a car.

 

Jordan:: where the fuck did you get a car?

Kayame:: from the auto shop, you idiot.

 

Jordan has a sad look on his face.

 

Kayame:: I looooooove you!

 

Kayame kisses his big toe.

 

Jordan:: um……….

Cody:: lunch buffet!

 

Rukia is swimming alone under the water, when she suddenly bumps into Luke.

 

Rukia:: sorry, buddy.

Luke:: it's okay. Hey, do you wanna get back together?

 

Rukia stares at him.

 

Rukia:: I'm sorry, I can't. I like someone else.

Luke:: okay. Friends though, right?

Rukia:: (smiles) absolutely.

 

Rukia gives him a hug, then swims off. All the while, Kayame and Jordan are all over each other. His hand slowly slides up her thigh. She wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him.

 

Meanwhile, Brandon, Cody and Kanashii are jumping off the diving boards. Cody does a fricken sweet flip, and lands on his stomach.

 

Cody:: it hurts! It hurts sooooo much!

Kanashii:: suck it up!

Cody:: SHUT up! You apple!

Kanashii:: banana!

Cody:: kiwi!

Kanashii:: strawberry!

Cody:: orange!

Kanashii:: grape!

Cody:: blueberry!

Kanashii:: cantaloupe!

Cody:: watermelon!

Kanashii:: raspberry!

Cody:: shit! I run out of fruit!

Kanashii: haha! I win!

 

Brandon swims over to Kayame and leans his chin on her shoulder.

 

Kayame:: what's up?????

Brandon:: Rukia has a secret! And she won't say what it is!

 

Kanashii

 

Kayame looks at Rukia strangely, and Rukia backs up. When Kayame finally catches up to her. She trips her and jumps on top of her. She tickles her toes.

 

Rukia:: ahahahaha!!!

Kayame:: tell us! Or I shall be forced to take drastic measures!

 

Rukia goes underwater when Kanashii pushes her. When she comes back up, she sticks her tongue out at Kanashii.

 

Kanashii:: careful! You never know. A bug could come along and fly into your mouth.

 

She quickly closes her mouth.

 

Cody:: TELL THE SECRET!!

 

Rukia blushes.

 

Rukia:: I HAVE BECOME BISEXUAL!!

 

An awkward silence envelops them, and suddenly a swarm of man eating bugs fly in and kill everyone. Then the wolves come to whisk Kanashii, Kayame and Rukia's bodies off to their den of memory. Where their bodies shall lie forever, undisturbed. While the guys' bodies get eaten by maggots.


End file.
